


EASE

by artificialmac



Series: Blue Neighborhood [3]
Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Developing Friendships, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Other, cis girl au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-26
Updated: 2020-04-26
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:13:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23850616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artificialmac/pseuds/artificialmac
Summary: The students of Eastview Highschool are still reeling from a post by their school drama account. Jan is too busy with auditioning for the school musical to pay much mind to a bit of teenage angst. Jan is too busy in general. But she's not overworked. She's totally fine. She can handle it. She has everything under control.
Series: Blue Neighborhood [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1708849
Comments: 13
Kudos: 35





	EASE

**Author's Note:**

> Again, nothing I do would ever come to completion without Meggie being my rock and betaing this monstrosity. I love her and I hope yall like this one!

**6:00am: Wake Up**

Jan’s eyes slowly adjusted themselves to the morning light just beginning to peek through her curtains. She didn’t groan, didn’t add five minutes to her alarm. She rolled up and out of bed. 

She pulled the sheet taut where she had messed it up while sleeping and tucked it back under her mattress, doing the same to the blanket. She fluffed her pillows and set them upright, and finally placed her little stuffed bunny in the center of the pillows.

She knelt down to pull the drawers from under her bed. She selected a random combination of shorts and t-shirt before queuing up her morning run playlist. She noted a text from Gigi and about eleven other people.

G: no idea.   
G: u sure it’s one of our girls?

J: Looks like our uniform.

**7:00am: Shower**

Jan didn’t fuss too much in the shower, rinsing herself down quickly, but making sure to apply her favorite body soap generously along her legs and arms. It smelled like peaches and always reminded her of summertime.

She brushed her teeth in the shower too. When she mentioned offhandedly to Jackie one day the older girl had looked grossed out. Jan didn’t mind. 

It was more efficient that way.

**7:20am: Breakfast**

Jan kissed her mother on the cheek as thanks for another delicious meal.

She fussed after Jan, telling her to be safe on her way to school and to text her when practice was over. Jan assured her mother that she would and skipped out the door, bookbag in tow, without another word.

**7:30am: Walk to School**

Jackie had taken to walking in the morning with Crystal and her weird art friends recently, so it was just Gigi and Brita that met Jan at her door.

Jan greeted them with a warm smile and made it about halfway down her porch steps before Brita launched into her many theories about who on the cheer team was sleeping with a basketball player.

The picture had made the rounds last night. Jan was up doing an online lab for her college chemistry course when she got the notification.

Yes, she had her notifications on for the school drama account. Sue her, but she liked to be in the know about things. 

She immediately recognized their cheer outfit and hadn’t hesitated before contacting every single girl on the team to inquire about who was making out with Eastview High’s All Star basketball player. 

No one on the team fessed up.

Jan wasn’t concerned per se. It was their prerogative to make out with whoever, but if this was about to be a scandal, she’d rather be ahead of it.

“When I first saw it I thought it might be you, J,” Brita said, turning to shoot a look at Jan.

“Oh my god, Brittany!” Jan shook her head as if it were the wildest idea she’d ever heard. 

“I’m just sayin’.” Brita held her hands up in surrender. “My first thought was _good for her. She needs some stress relief_.”

“I don’t need that kind of relief.” Jan chuckled.

Brita just hummed skeptically.

Jan turned to look at Gigi who was being awfully quiet that morning, “Who do you think it was, Gigi?”

“I have no idea.” Gigi just shrugged.

Jan wasn’t convinced. Gigi was staring at her shoes like they were the most interesting shoes on the planet. She clearly knew something she wasn’t telling them. Jan made a mental note to prod her for details later.

“Well, the tall one was definitely Hall. That’s for sure,” Brita continued rambling.

“Why do you say that?” Gigi asked innocently.

Now Jan was sure Gigi knew something. Everyone with two eyes and half a brain cell knew the person not in the cheer uniform was Hall. Jaida was the damn captain of the team. The most lauded person in their highschool. Everyone knew what she looked like. 

Brita looked at Gigi confusedly. “Besides the obvious, it’s her truck in the picture.”

“It could have just been someone else on her car,” Gigi spoke quietly, clearly losing her nerve.

“I doubt it. Did you see how tall the other person was?” Brita shook her head. “No, it’s definitely Hall.”

The conversation lulled a bit as the three made their way into the school building, through the metal detectors, and headed down the hallway to their lockers. All conveniently located next to each other.

When Gigi had asked how that had happened Jan had just shrugged and said that being student body president had its advantages. 

As they sifted through their lockers for their books, Jan mused. “But which one of our girls would be sleeping with Hall?” 

Brita thought a moment before holding up a hand to count off her fingers. “Well, start with which ones are gay. Jackie, Gigi-”

Jan cut her off. “You don’t have to be gay to wanna sleep with Hall.”

“Okay, true.” Brita giggled.

“For straight girls, you both sure talk about how hot Jaida is a lot.” Gigi gave them both pointed looks, before continuing. “Besides, half the squad is gay that doesn’t help.”

Brita and Jan agreed and gave up theorizing for now as they waltzed into homeroom with their arms linked.

**7:40am Homeroom/Announcements**

Jan shot their homeroom teacher a smile before excusing herself to the front office.

While being the student body president did have its perks, it also had its responsibilities. Namely, the announcements every morning.

Jan greeted the ladies at the front desk and spent the better part of ten minutes cooing at pictures and videos of their young children that they always insisted on showing her. Jan never minded. It always made them smile and it made her smile, so it was a win-win.

Principal Visage came by a few moments later. She gave Jan a warm smile and ran her through the announcements for the day, handing over the slip of paper with the same information.

Jan took it eagerly and attempted to strike up a conversation with her principal. But Mrs. Visage wasn’t one for small talk and excused herself shortly after the homeroom bell rang. She gave Jan an encouraging smile, though, before disappearing into her office. 

Jan readied herself by the microphone and smiled as a couple of students filed into the office to make announcements for their various clubs.

Bryce showed up at 8:00 on the dot and Jan chastised him for giving her a heart attack. Her VP slash boyfriend of two years just smiled. “You know I’d never leave you hangin’.”

Jan didn’t have time to retort before the bell rang. She took a deep inhale and exhale before pressing down on the intercom and putting on her cheeriest voice.

“Good Wednesday morning Eastview High! I hope you guys are ready for the football game this Friday. Get excited! Go Eagles!” Jan paused to look over at the students in line. “We’ve got quite a few student announcements this morning so I’ll let them take it away.”

Jan moved back and allowed each of the line of students access to the mic to plug their after school activity or club. It was still early in the semester so there were quite a few. Jan herself made plugs for both the cheerleading and soccer teams.

“Now to your VP for the most important announcement, lunch.”

Jan turned to Bryce who smiled goofily. “That was a Jan-mazing joke there!”

Jan could hear groans from the nearby homerooms. She just smiled. Early on in their relationship, Bryce had somehow decided that making puns out of Jan’s name was peak comedy. Although, he had a weird grasp on what counted as a pun. She had tried to explain to him that the joke wasn’t funny unless the word already had an ‘an’ in it. He still didn’t seem to get it. 

He even got her a necklace for the anniversary that said _Janmate_. Like soulmate… but… her name.

She took it all in stride though and forced a laugh anyway.

“For lunch we’ve got chicken and pizza-”

Jan spaced out for a bit as Bryce went on about the menu for today. He cracked a few jokes and the ladies at the front desk practically swooned. Jan rolled her eyes fondly. Bryce had that effect on people.

She closed out the announcements with her encouraging quote of the day and a reminder to get tickets to Friday’s game.

**8:15 - 12:20: Classes**

Jan was taking all AP classes this semester which meant she had to work ten times harder to keep up with everyone else. Yes, she was still in line for salutatorian, and yes, she could probably get As in every class without lifting a finger, and yes, she was taking college courses in addition to her current course load, and no, she wasn’t overworked.

**12:25: Lunch**

Jan threw her pile of books in her locker with little regard to how they tumbled against each other at the bottom. She grabbed her purse and Gigi’s hand and the two made their way down to the lunchroom. 

Jan waited until they were in line, trays in hand, boxed in by students on either side of them before finally asking, “So what aren’t you telling me?” 

Gigi tensed immediately and tried valiantly to keep eye contact with Jan, “What are you talking about?”

Jan grabbed a yogurt from the fridge and turned back to face Gigi. “You know who’s in the picture don’t you?”

“No,” Gigi answered too quickly.

Jan wasn’t convinced. “Well, you know something.”

Gigi grabbed two slices of pizza while shaking her head, “I really don’t, J. Honest.”

They made their way up to the register and Jan smiled warmly at the lady running the machine. She gave her a glare in response. Jan paid for her lunch and waited patiently for Gigi to do the same.

Jan knew she wasn’t going to get anything more out of Gigi. They had grown up together and Jan knew better by now than to keep pushing. 

But a little part of her did wonder. “Who are you covering for?” 

“No one. I’m not covering for anyone!” Gigi exclaimed.

“I know, I’m teasing.” Jan gave a giggle.

Gigi huffed but allowed a small smile to grace her face.

The two sat down at their usual table. Bryce, Brita, and Brita’s boyfriend Bruno all came and joined them a bit later. 

Lunch passed in a blurr. Jan half-listened to Bryce talk about the football team and their upcoming game. The rest of her time was spent worrying her bottom lip between her teeth and mentally running through her lines for her audition tomorrow. 

**1:25-3:30: Classes**

The afternoon always seemed to pass slower to Jan. She noticed three times that her mind had drifted off and away from the work in front of her. She really needed to get a grip. And maybe some more sleep tonight.

**4:00pm: Cheer Practice**

Jan led the girls through another grueling practice.

Ten laps to start, stretching exercises, pyramid clean up, full routine until they got it perfect.

It was nowhere near perfect when six o’clock hit, but there wasn’t time to dwell on that. There wasn’t time for much of anything.

Roll up the floor mats, change for soccer practice, eat a granola bar on the way to the field.

**6:10pm: Soccer Practice**

Jan had been playing soccer since she was 5.

Her parents swore she came out of the womb juggling. Jan always laughed and told them that was anatomically impossible. Her father then would say she got her mother’s humor.

Practice was fairly uneventful. Tiring as hell, as usual, but it always left Jan feeling accomplished. 

**8:00pm: Dinner and Homework**

Jan was thankful for the light load today. When the spring musical started up, she would really be stretched thin. Luckily for now she only had cheer every school day and soccer three days a week and soccer games on weekends and her college class every other day and being student body president every day and keeping her 4.0 GPA...

It was manageable. For now at least.

Jan scarfed down the leftovers her mother had set aside for her and started on her pile of work. She was usually good about keeping on top of homework, so it only took a few hours to get everything done. She checked in on her college chemistry course to make sure she had turned in her lab quiz. She had. 

When Jan looked up it was already 11pm. She sighed and knew her parents and brother were most likely asleep by now. She would have to practice her audition song outside.

Jan hopped in the shower and rinsed herself off, hoping the steam would help her vocal chords and the grime coming off her like a sheet would help her feel better.

She tiptoed down the stairs and out her back door. She walked to the edge of her backyard and perched herself up on the fence, trying to get distance away from the houses so she didn’t bother anyone. 

She shivered as the cool air bit at her exposed ankles. 

She started humming softly, reaccustoming her voice to its own music. She took her time, running through warmups softly until she felt secure enough. She let herself get a bit louder and heard their neighbor Rock shut her window pointedly. 

Jan sighed. She needed to practice. 

She kept going, letting the notes extend past her mouth and fill the night air around her. She counted off in her head and hit each beat perfectly on cue with the music forever spinning in her mind. 

A window opened from a nearby house, but it was too dark to see who it was or where it was. 

Jan kept going, getting into the chorus and letting her control slip and her voice do what it wanted to. The air around her seemed to crackle with electricity and her heart rate increased as she hit the high note and this… _this_ was what Jan lived for.

The crickets, an appreciative audience continued their chirping as Jan finished the last lyrics.

Somewhere, much closer than was comfortable came a soft clapping. It startled Jan at first.

She looked over to see none other than Jaida Essence Hall leaning over Jan’s fence to applaud her. Jan, ever the performer, gave a mock curtsey and Jaida chuckled lightly.

“Hey, Jaida,” Jan said in greeting.

“Hey, Jan.”

They didn’t do this. They didn’t talk like this. Like friends.

Not that they _weren’t_ friends.

They had grown up together.

Although, Jan grew up with everyone in this neighborhood so that wasn’t really saying much. Although they had all grown up playing games in the middle of the street, running around in the heat slick sun and scraping their knees on solid concrete. And that meant a lot as a kid. It still sometimes meant a lot.

“How are you?” Jan asked.

Jaida’s demeanor suddenly changed and she let out a bitter laugh. “Oh you know.”

“I really don’t.”

There was a pointed pause. “No, I guess you don’t,” Jaida mused.

The silence stretched between them and the once calming air of the outdoors suddenly felt stifling.

“I’m sorry.”

Jaida looked up. “Why? You take the picture?”

“No!” Jan shook her head. “But still. I’m guessing this isn’t how you wanted things to go.”

“You’d guess correct.” Jaida sighed and ran a hand through her hair. “You gon’ ask me who it was? Has she told you yet?”

Jan bit her lip. She wasn’t going to ask, no matter how much she wanted to know. “No. And no. No one told me anything.”

“Hmm. Weird. I woulda thought you knew from the start.” Jaida seemed almost… shocked. Like she figured Jan already knew. Like she figured Jan had this dirt on her and oh, now Jan understood what this was about.

“I don’t know who it was. And even if I did, it’s none of my business.” Jan spoke firmly. “Is that why you came down here then? To make sure I wouldn’t tell?”

“No! Well yes, and no.” Jaida looked down at her feet guiltily. “I knew you weren’t the type to go spreadin gossip, but I wanted to make sure.” Jaida looked back up to meet Jan’s eyes “plus I hadn’t heard you sing since we were little.”

At Jan’s confused expression, Jaida laughed a bit, “You tellin’ me you don’t remember when we were growin’ up and you and Jackie would put on these elaborate plays and keep us all hostage til we clapped?”

“We did not keep you hostage!” Jan exclaimed.

“Roxanne nearly pissed herself one time!”

“She did not!” 

A voice rang out above their heads. “Did too!” 

Jaida and Jan looked up and over to see Rock leaning out her window to gaze down at them. 

“Rock, what the fuck?” Jaida asked in between confused chuckles.

“Sorry, I was just listening to Jan singing and I heard my name so I thought- I just thought I’d- I’ll just go now.” Rock made a show of closing her window, but the shadow of her head was still visible through her curtains, making it clear she was still listening in.

Jan just laughed at the ludicracy of it all. She found Jaida doing the same. 

It was strange. That after all this time. All the ways life had changed them, they still stood here, laughing in spite of it all.

Jan and Jaida’s eyes met and for a brief moment it felt a bit like lightning. A bit like they were supposed to be here right now. Together.

Jaida must have realized she was staring because she coughed a bit awkwardly. “Well, I should let you get back to it.”

Jan felt her stomach drop at the notion, but she nodded. “Yeah, yeah. I’ll see you around.”

“Yeah.” Jaida smiled before turning on her heel and disappearing back into her yard. Jan found herself surprised to be missing the other girl’s presence. 

She shook it off and went through her song a few more times before deciding to call it a night.

She made sure to shout a goodnight to Rock, who she was sure blushed at being caught out, but returned the sentiment nonetheless. 

Jan tiptoed back up the stairs to her room and set her alarm for the morning.

**7:22am: Wake Up**

Jan woke up like a flash. As if her body instinctively knew something was wrong. The light filtering through her curtains was way too bright for it to be 6:00am. She looked over to her phone and her heart leapt at the time. 

She bolted out of bed and threw on the outfit she had laid out the night before. She didn’t have time to do her makeup, a pre-audition ritual she always partook in. She didn’t have time at all before she heard a knock at the front door.

She raced down to see Jackie, Gigi, and Brita all looking at her concerned. She looked a mess probably. Jan tried to give them a reassuring smile and said she’d be right down and she just had to grab her bag and her sheet music.

She closed the door lightly and sprinted up the stairs, grabbing the aforementioned items and giving herself one last onceover in the mirror.

Jan knew this wasn’t the end of the world. In reality, she had only missed her morning run and shower, which was fine. Everything was fine. It didn’t feel like her world was suddenly crashing down around her.

**7:35am: Walk to School**

The group walked in relative silence. At least for Jan’s part. She was running through her lines over and over and over in her head, while Jackie encouraged her softly and Brita and Gigi talked in hushed tones all the way to school.

Jan hardly even registered the fact that Jackie was walking with them today. When she asked about it, the older girl just shook her head and said not to worry about it. Jan agreed to drop it, if only for the fact that the nerves in her stomach were making it hard to talk.

Jan bid Brita and Gigi goodbye at the auditorium doors. Jackie hung back, clearly sensing that something was wrong. 

“Are you okay?” she asked, genuine concern creeping into her voice.

Jan nodded. “Yeah, I just woke up late and it freaked me out.”

Jackie nodded but seemed unconvinced. “Well, you got this.” She gave Jan’s hands a squeeze. “Don’t worry.” 

Jan gave her a small smile and nodded.

She did. She totally had this.

She walked into the auditorium, greeted the director and the stage manager and got all the way up on stage before she realized that she actually didn’t have this. That maybe for the first time in her life, Jan really wasn’t going to do well at this.

It was a stupid thought. A silly voice that she could usually shut out.

But now it was the only thing she could hear.

She couldn’t hear the lines being read out to her or the start of her music. Something inside her had snapped and she couldn’t shake the feeling of dread creeping up on her. 

As if to further rub salt in the wound, right as she was about to hit the high note, her voice cracked. 

Jan wasn’t delusional. 

She had known this balancing act would come to an end eventually. She was doing too much. Everyone said so.

But she couldn’t seem to stop herself either. She just had a lot of love in her heart. And she needed to show it somehow. 

Or maybe she just wanted to be good at something. So she had tried a bit of everything and when she found that she wasn’t truly exceptional at any one thing she just kept doing everything. Maybe she had been hoping that no one would realize how lost she truly was if she just did everything.

Because Jan felt lost. 

And it hit her like a truck everytime she stopped moving. So she hadn’t stopped moving. 

She had known this balancing act would come to an end eventually. She just didn’t think everything would come to an end _now._

Jan ran out of the auditorium and into someone. She opened her mouth to apologize but a familiar voice cut her off before she was able.

“Hey, I was just gonna come wish you luck-” Jaida took in Jan’s frazzled appearance. “Are you okay?”

Jan looked up at her, tears blurring her vision that much more. “I-I-” Jan could hardly speak, let alone explain all that was wrong with her at that moment.

“What do you need?” Jaida said seriously.

“I don’t know.” Jan’s voice sounded strange in her own head and she couldn’t stop gasping for air. She hardly noticed the crowd that was quickly forming around them.

“Okay, come here, people are starin’.” Jaida grabbed Jan’s hand and led her out the nearest doors and out to the back parking lot. 

Jan was still breathing heavily and doing her best to articulate the fact that she still had to go do the announcements.

“Nuh-uh, baby, you gonna stay right here till you can breathe again,” Jaida asserted.

Jan tried to insist that she had things to do, places to be. Jaida just sat her down against the cold brick wall of their high school and assured her that everything was going to be fine. Jan went to argue, but the sight of familiar red curls coupled with unfamiliar dark ones caught her eye. 

Bryce, Jan’s boyfriend of two years, came stumbling out from under the bleachers with a petite brunette following close behind him.

Jan recognized her immediately. Dahlia. 

Bryce had this giddy smile on his face and looked to all the world like he had just had the time of his life. Dahlia was just laughing at him and clutching the strap of her book bag like it was a lifeline. The pair didn’t see Jan and Jaida at first. 

If Jan had any more pride left in her; she'd feel remorseful for yelling at him.

But she didn’t.

She stood up and started screaming at the top of her lungs about how much of a scumbag he was. About how he never really cared about her and was only ever in their relationship for the VP position. It made perfect sense to Jan why he would cheat. And with Dahlia no less. A girl she looked nothing like.

Jaida had to steer her away from the pair of lovebirds or Jan was going to do something really stupid.

“Hey, hey, it’s not worth it.” Jaida tried to speak calmly.

Jan wasn’t having it. She pulled out her phone with every intention of recording her cheating boyfriend and his side chick when she saw a notification from the school’s drama account. 

She had been tagged in a picture.

Before she could think too much about it, Jan clicked on the post. She felt dread seeping into her stomach. The picture was of her and Jaida standing awfully close outside the auditorium. Jan’s heart nearly gave out at the caption. 

_A player on and off the court._

Before Jan could process what the hell that meant her phone lit up with notifications.

She managed to single out Brita’s name from the bunch and opened their conversation. Jan could feel hot tears pricking the edges of her eyes, which only served to blur her phone screen more. 

B: y didn’t u tell us u were the one making out with Hall?

That was the final straw. 

Jan broke down.

She broke down. At 7:58am on a Thursday morning, leaning against a dirty brick wall with a girl she hadn’t spoken to in years dabbing at her eyes with the edge of her shirt.


End file.
